Right now, I'm waiting for the husband to call me so I can go pick him up. He's been gone training since Monday. He goes back next week, but they get the weekend off, which is nice. They're doing lots of training in the field these next couple months. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's still here, instead of at another post or deployed. It's just hard sometimes, for me. This pregnancy has just been up and down for me. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with our first daughter. So far almost everything has been completely normal and healthy. We're both looking forward to our little NoNo, as we've taken to calling her, a variation of what her name will be.
I'm very excited about it, I'm really looking forward to when she's here. But I'm having some troubles with it. I'm not talking about crazy complications or anything like that, and I'm not just complaining about my back hurting or feeling nauseated or anything. Sometimes I just feel like the hormones have affected me more than they do most people. I feel like I'm crazy sometimes when I want to just curl up in a ball in my bed and be terrified. Is that normal? Is it okay that even though I'm very excited for her to be here, I'm so terrified that I am going to be the worst mother ever? I'm scared that I wont know anything.
It just makes me feel guilty, because I know that Hubs is just plain excited and he isn't worried. I feel guilty because sometimes it really is hard to be excited when I get so worried that I'm going to fail. I know so many people tell me not to worry, but I can't help but worry. And I can't help but feel that the way that I'm feeling is not normal, that not everyone feels this way, and I'm way more scared than a normal person.
So I guess what I'm asking, is do you REALLY just pick up on it like they say? How can you just learn something so quickly? What was the hardest thing for you to learn?
Friday, August 19, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Another Army Wife blog? Great.....
Where in the heck do I start? I've never had a blog before, and I don't really know what other people want to read about. But I've been going through so many things lately, I feel like this might help me. A lot of my experiences are ones that my friends haven't had yet, and it's hard to talk to them. I thought maybe I could use this as a way to get it out there and maybe get some advice from other people. So, I guess we'll just jump in, head first. Lets talk about journey to where I am now... being a brand new Army wife.
The Army Wife. It's a job. It's a step above just marrying someone. You're marrying their job, their friends, their lifestyle. It's hard, and I know I haven't even been through the hard parts yet. I've only been an Army wife for 6 months now. That's not long at all. It's only half a deployment. It's the length of an MOS school. It's nothing. I haven't had to deal with any schools, or long training, or deployments yet. In fact, when we met last August, he had just gotten back from Iraq. Literally, about a week before we met.
He had deployed with a friend that I went to basic training with, and that friend set us up. We hit it off immediately, and we decided to date exclusively the first weekend we met. It was a 3 hour drive between us, so it was somewhat long distance, but we made it work. It's so cheesy, but I knew that he was different. I knew I didn't want to be with anyone but him. This was August of 2010, and he went on leave at the beginning of December, back home to Washington state, and I flew there right before Christmas. He proposed to me on Christmas day, it was cute and just the two of us, and I thought he was kidding. We drove back to Georgia over New Years, and I told my parents in January. He didn't want to tell them until he'd had a chance to ask my dad, which I thought was adorable, and my dad still loves. We decided we'd get married quickly so I could move to be with him. We just invited the immediate family and headed to the courthouse one Friday afternoon.
And just like that, I became an Army wife, how I earned my place among the silent ranks. And I would never change my mind about that. You could ask me to go back and do it all again, and I would. Being a wife is so different from just being a girlfriend, but when people ask me how married life is, all I can ever say is "pretty much the same as regular life." It isn't, but I just can't describe it. Mostly because, I'm so new at this, I'm still learning what it's like. I'm still learning how to tell him things, I'm still learning how to be an us without losing who we are. It's hard to compromise sometimes. And we're both still learning about each other. We have had our share of ups and downs, even in the short year that we've been together. But we've kept our heads above water this long, and I feel like we'll be able to keep swimming.
The Army Wife. It's a job. It's a step above just marrying someone. You're marrying their job, their friends, their lifestyle. It's hard, and I know I haven't even been through the hard parts yet. I've only been an Army wife for 6 months now. That's not long at all. It's only half a deployment. It's the length of an MOS school. It's nothing. I haven't had to deal with any schools, or long training, or deployments yet. In fact, when we met last August, he had just gotten back from Iraq. Literally, about a week before we met.
He had deployed with a friend that I went to basic training with, and that friend set us up. We hit it off immediately, and we decided to date exclusively the first weekend we met. It was a 3 hour drive between us, so it was somewhat long distance, but we made it work. It's so cheesy, but I knew that he was different. I knew I didn't want to be with anyone but him. This was August of 2010, and he went on leave at the beginning of December, back home to Washington state, and I flew there right before Christmas. He proposed to me on Christmas day, it was cute and just the two of us, and I thought he was kidding. We drove back to Georgia over New Years, and I told my parents in January. He didn't want to tell them until he'd had a chance to ask my dad, which I thought was adorable, and my dad still loves. We decided we'd get married quickly so I could move to be with him. We just invited the immediate family and headed to the courthouse one Friday afternoon.
And just like that, I became an Army wife, how I earned my place among the silent ranks. And I would never change my mind about that. You could ask me to go back and do it all again, and I would. Being a wife is so different from just being a girlfriend, but when people ask me how married life is, all I can ever say is "pretty much the same as regular life." It isn't, but I just can't describe it. Mostly because, I'm so new at this, I'm still learning what it's like. I'm still learning how to tell him things, I'm still learning how to be an us without losing who we are. It's hard to compromise sometimes. And we're both still learning about each other. We have had our share of ups and downs, even in the short year that we've been together. But we've kept our heads above water this long, and I feel like we'll be able to keep swimming.
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