Right now, I'm waiting for the husband to call me so I can go pick him up. He's been gone training since Monday. He goes back next week, but they get the weekend off, which is nice. They're doing lots of training in the field these next couple months. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's still here, instead of at another post or deployed. It's just hard sometimes, for me. This pregnancy has just been up and down for me. I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant with our first daughter. So far almost everything has been completely normal and healthy. We're both looking forward to our little NoNo, as we've taken to calling her, a variation of what her name will be.
I'm very excited about it, I'm really looking forward to when she's here. But I'm having some troubles with it. I'm not talking about crazy complications or anything like that, and I'm not just complaining about my back hurting or feeling nauseated or anything. Sometimes I just feel like the hormones have affected me more than they do most people. I feel like I'm crazy sometimes when I want to just curl up in a ball in my bed and be terrified. Is that normal? Is it okay that even though I'm very excited for her to be here, I'm so terrified that I am going to be the worst mother ever? I'm scared that I wont know anything.
It just makes me feel guilty, because I know that Hubs is just plain excited and he isn't worried. I feel guilty because sometimes it really is hard to be excited when I get so worried that I'm going to fail. I know so many people tell me not to worry, but I can't help but worry. And I can't help but feel that the way that I'm feeling is not normal, that not everyone feels this way, and I'm way more scared than a normal person.
So I guess what I'm asking, is do you REALLY just pick up on it like they say? How can you just learn something so quickly? What was the hardest thing for you to learn?
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